The Meet Hope Podcast
The Meet Hope Podcast
134: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired? A Helpful Tool in Faith and Life.
Pastor Heather Mandala shares how the mental health tool HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) aligns perfectly with scripture, demonstrating that God has always known what we would need and desires to care for us every step of the way.
Watch the entire sermon here: https://boxcast.tv/view/hope-online-worship-1030-jcctbqog64fojjco1ysj?_gl=1*6lxgps*_gcl_au*MjgxNDEwMzIuMTc0ODUyNjM5My4zMTEwODQ2MDEuMTc1NTA5NzI2Mi4xNzU1MDk3Mjgx*_ga*MzQwNDEzMzQwLjE3NDg1MjYzOTI.*_ga_PXBBF7HVWQ*czE3NTUwOTcyNTAkbzI3JGcxJHQxNzU1MDk3MjgwJGozMCRsMCRoMA..
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Welcome to the Meet Hope podcast, where we have conversations about faith and hope. Hope is one church made of people living out their faith through two expressions in person and online. We believe a hybrid faith experience can lead to a growing influence in our community and our world for the sake of others. Welcome to Hope.
Speaker 2:Hi everyone, welcome to the Meet Hope podcast. My name is Ashley Black. I'm excited to be here with you today, and I'm here today with Pastor Heather Mandela. Hey, heather. Hey everybody, how are you Doing? Good, I just got back from vacation, so I'm just jumping back into things. I know you were away also. You want to tell us a little bit about where you were.
Speaker 3:Sure, yeah, I was in Indiana because I am completing my master's in clinical mental health counseling, and so one of the requirements is a week on campus every year, and so this was my last one, which is very exciting.
Speaker 2:Congratulations. So it means I'm closing in on the finish line. I know we as a staff added your graduation date to our calendar. Well, you mentioned it in staff meetings, so I added it at least, but you know. Thank you.
Speaker 3:No, it's very exciting and so it was really an intensive. It was a week intensive. We basically are on campus for 10 to 12 hours a day and it's talking about the really hard stuff, right, it's talking about trauma, it's talking about helping people who are suicidal, it's talking about what it means to be present and things like that. So it was an intense week, but it was a really really good week. That's awesome.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you had a week and it was well-timed, because then you came back and talked a little bit about mental health Right In our series. That's what we're going to talk about today. So this past Sunday you preached on the movie Inside Out 2 as part of our At the Movie series. I love this series, so much.
Speaker 2:It just makes me so happy to get to watch some movies on Sunday as part of the Sunday series. So in your sermon, when you taught, you had a particular tool that you used and that you taught everyone and you took the tool. It's a mental health tool and you translated it to go along with our faith life and scripture. And I thought that was such a great way to use a tool from another field of study.
Speaker 2:I guess you could say and apply it to our faith. That's like one of my favorite things to do with, like art and writing and with mental health and with but you can do it with science and we do it with technology, we do with all kinds of things. So I thought it was a really great thing, and I had a lot of people after service tell me hey, that part was really great. You should put that on social media, which we will be doing.
Speaker 2:But it led me to ask you like, hey, can we record just that part and have it live absolutely?
Speaker 3:in our feed.
Speaker 2:So anybody that might be interested in like just remembering it can have it, especially because when we sometimes hear a helpful hint or a tool, if we don't need it in the moment it can be like oh, that's really cool, I want to remember that, but then when we do need it, yep, you're like, where did it's washed away in the busyness of life, right?
Speaker 3:We can maybe come up with one of the letters or something but that's it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the tool you use for mental health is called HALT, right?
Speaker 3:H-A-L-T. Yep. The HALT method was actually developed by Dr David Stream. He is a psychiatrist and specifically an addiction specialist, so it is one of those techniques that we can use when we start to feel dysregulated, which is really just a fancy way of saying hey, my emotions are talking louder than my brain, right, like I'm reacting. I'm not actually processing or thinking through things, I am just reacting.
Speaker 3:So when we start to feel those emotions take over. These are some things that we can do to slow that down. Deeper and deeper into study, for counseling is that God knew what we were going to need, right? Yeah, so so much of what we hear out in the culture, and I feel like there's a lot of Christians who are afraid to go to counseling because they feel like it's just modern day mumbo jumbo, right, and I should only have to listen to what God has to say, and so for me, it's really important to help people understand that this is a reimagining, but all of it, the framework of it, is all in the Bible. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure that secular counselors don't want to hear that, right, like, or people who aren't walking in faith don't want to hear that. But the reality is, these techniques we teach, these understandings of the way our brain works, these understandings of our subconscious, all of it it's in scripture. It's in scripture. He knew what we were going to need, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:No, I love that. I know it's a phrase I've been hearing you say more and more as you've gone deeper into your field of study and I think it's so important to remember that you know scripture is. We often refer to it as like a living, breathing thing, like it is meant to be a guide in our lives today, as well as it was when it was written, and like we glean and, like you said, reimagine from different perspectives than the context in which it was written, but it, um, it still applies and I love that it.
Speaker 2:You said like god knew that we could take this tool, and we could take this tool over here, and this tool over here, and and marry them, marry them together and that one can inform the other, and I think that's really exciting. So why don't you tell us a little bit about, tell us what HALT stands for, when you would want to use it, and then you can kind of walk through each letter Sure, the way you did on Sunday?
Speaker 3:Sure, great Sounds good, yeah. So HALT is something that I use or would use or encourage others to use. I use or would use or encourage others to use. Um, when, again, you're you feel like your emotions are starting to impair your judgment, starting to impair your ability to um, speak in love, to be kind to, or, or you're isolating because you're terrified of everything, like whatever it is, your emotions are starting to take over and so when those emotions start to scream loudly, it's a technique we can use and it's really just about asking ourselves questions, right? So the first question H is am I hungry? Right so hungry? Is that first word? A am I angry? L am I lonely? And T am I tired? So hungry, angry, lonely and tired? Those are the keys there. As we start to break them down a little bit, we can look at like what hungry means, right, so hungry? It really does literally mean am I hungry, right? So you know?
Speaker 2:I which? How often is it that I'm hungry or like might need a drink of water? Which? How often is it that I'm hungry or like might need a drink of water? Yes, I'm dehydrated.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and honestly I could go on that riff for ages and I won't right now. But yeah, so much of the dysregulation and the dysautonomia that we have is because we aren't caring for our bodies the way they're supposed to be cared for, right, but that's a whole, nother podcast.
Speaker 1:So stick it here.
Speaker 3:You know, we all and I joke about the Snickers commercials with Betty White and the being hangry, right, but it's legit, right. It impacts our physical being and we physically can feel angry, exhausted, all of those things, when we are hungry and we're not checking in with ourselves. But spiritually there's a hunger as well, and so the scripture that I love is Proverbs 27, 7. One who is full loathes honey, but to one who is hungry, everything bitter is sweet. So, again, it's this idea of when we are hungering whether it is, you know, they joke about not going to the grocery store hungry, right, like so, because you just buy everything under the sun, yeah, yeah yeah, this is the same kind of thing Like when we go into relationships hungry because we have not had our need to be seen or heard or loved, met either from our parents or
Speaker 3:other places in our lives. When we are looking for the outside to fill us rather than looking to God to tell us that we are enough, we get hungry, and that hunger can cause us to make really poor decisions, to accept things in our lives that we typically wouldn't accept, to pursue, things that we typically wouldn't pursue. And it is because we are spiritually hungry. So it is a stop and look. Am I acting this way because I have an unmet need? Right, I am not feeling loved. Okay, so how then? What do I need to do with that? And start to unpack that and recognize that making a decision out of that place is probably not going to allow you to hear God's best for you, and so our goal, of course, is to settle it enough that we can listen. Okay, how would God have me respond to this right now?
Speaker 2:How would God?
Speaker 3:lead me. What would his purpose for me in this be? I love that. What would his purpose for me in this be? I love that, yeah. So the next one is angry. And this is if you've been around Christian circles for any period of time, I am sure you have heard this again and again, but it's Ephesians 4, 26 to 27.
Speaker 3:In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you're still angry and do not give the devil a foothold. Anger by itself is not a sin. Yeah, say that five more times. Right, anger is not a sin. Anger is not a sin, hear me.
Speaker 3:Anger is not a sin, but what we do with it is where it gets tricky, right? Yeah, anger can drive us to fight against injustice. It can drive us to right wrongs. It can ultimately drive us to repair relationships that have been ruptured. Right, because we don't want to sit in the unresolved. We want to have closure and to build this relationship to make it better, right?
Speaker 3:So anger can be a good thing, but unresolved anger is dangerous, because what happens is we sit in it and we stew on it, and it can ultimately end up with us belittling others or using hurtful words or engaging in reckless behaviors or just allowing that deep root of bitterness to sit in our hearts and um, and really, ultimately, that isolates us and it drives us away from community. Um, which is the exact opposite of what we were created for. So um, proverbs 29, 11, just kind of adds to this in a way I love. Right so, fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Right so wisdom. Wisdom allows us to process our anger in a way that is going to lead to godly results.
Speaker 3:It's going to lead to fighting for justice. It's going to lead to reparations in relationships. It's going to lead to fighting for justice. It's going to lead to reparations in relationships. It's going to lead to a healthier existence in community. It's not going to serve as an isolation. It's not going to drive us from people. Right so, recognizing if I'm angry, why am I angry? Because it's probably not whatever you just got angry about. Honestly, no.
Speaker 2:I had heard someone once say that anger can be an arrow. It can like point us directly to what we really care about, and sometimes it's identifying like I'm angry because I really care about that person, or I really care about that issue and I don't know what to do about it, and so now I'm just angry, yeah, yeah, and, and, and. So it can. It can be a a helpful thing to point us towards how we're wired. But, like you said, then we have to like bring in other things to help us. We have to become wise and move it forward.
Speaker 3:Yes, we have to become wise enough to know who we need to ask, what we need to do to allow the emotion not to take over Right, and to allow the emotion not to take over right and to allow us to be able to process that anger and use it in a healthy way. Yeah for sure. The next one is L lonely. Psalm 68, 6 says that God set the lonely in families he leads out the prisoners with. To me, this just speaks of the need for community. Right, god sets the lonely in families, and this doesn't mean it looks like the nuclear family. It doesn't mean that it is a spouse. It doesn't mean that there is a pre-described way of what that family should look like. It means that he places us in community. He places us among other people who care for us and whom we care for.
Speaker 3:God continues to use others in our lives. Just like all throughout history, god used others in the lives of those we see in scripture. Right, moses did not lead the Israelites alone. Joshua did not lead them into the promised land alone. Nehemiah, he had a whole bunch of people around him when he rebuilt that wall. Paul was ministered to by Ananias. Jesus led us to the fullness of God's redemption and yet somehow we still get stuck thinking that we should be able to muscle through, should be able to just do this on our own, should be able to figure it out ourselves, that we shouldn't need others. And yet, time and time and time and time again, nowhere does scripture say do this on your own right. Mary finds out that she is carrying God's son, jesus, and she goes to live with her cousin Elizabeth. We don't do life alone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean just when you were talking about Jesus. Like I, I always am kind of humbled or brought back down when I'm reminded or when I look at scripture and I'm reminded, like Jesus, the time he spent a lot of it was intentionally with, like the disciples and he wasn't just like charging ahead by himself with an agenda to get as much done Like he had he pulled not that he pulled back, but he took time to do things with those around him and like encourage them to know how to do things.
Speaker 3:He understood the importance of relationship right.
Speaker 3:And the fact that these people were only going to learn through relationship. Yeah, right, and so it's not about getting our point or agenda across, it's about coming together in community and walking together. So, again, that loneliness, right? That being, are we in community? And then the second section of that is he leads out the prisoners with singing. And this word prisoners it's asir, which literally translate to bound, or bound by chains, and I love this because we are.
Speaker 3:How many of us have been bound by our emotions, right? How many of us have felt tied down by the sadness, the grief, the anger, the despair, those emotions that have kept us wrapped up Embarrassment, shame, right have kept us from moving forward in our lives and in our walk with God. And I can't miss the fact there that he leads us in singing, right, god leads us out with singing, and to me, this just speaks of the importance of worship. So the question isn't what worship music do you like? I mean, it might be if God speaks to you through music, but the reality is this is how do you experience God best, right? If you find him in nature, then get out in nature. If you find him in music, then listen to music. If you find him in prayer, then pray. If you find him with others, then get with others Again.
Speaker 3:It's learning how you experience God and allowing you to immerse yourself in that, to bring us out of our bondage, to lead us through those hard times. And sure, when we're not doing these things, those hard times, and sure, when we're not doing these things, we are living in a sun-scorched land. We've been there, right, I know I've been there. You know where I'm trying to do things on my own and I am not doing what I should be doing, what I know God has told me to do, like be in community and ask those to be around me and all that kind of good stuff, when I'm just like I've got this, I'm going to white knuckle this. It's exhausting, it's lonely, it's isolating and it really does feel like you are dragging yourself through a sun scorched land Right, and that is certainly not God's best for us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, definitely. And so what's then? What's the T, the?
Speaker 3:T, the T is tired, the T is tired. So Matthew 11, 28,. Come to me all ye who are weary. Look at that. I can't even say it without ye. I'm reminded. Let's try that again. New English yeah, Tired, yes, tired. Matthew 11, 28 to 30, come to me all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. I love this, because I don't know anybody who isn't weary or burdened. This because I don't know anybody who isn't weary or burdened. Right, and this idea of like we try to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and Jesus is saying like that's that's not our job Right Come to me that's, that's not, that's my job.
Speaker 2:You just need to be with me.
Speaker 3:Yeah and um and it's also a physical reminder that, hey, maybe you just need a nap.
Speaker 2:Like like, maybe right, but part of that also comes with like then accepting our human limits. Yes, like going back to the whole, like you don't need to do it on your own. You also can't, yeah, and so when you get on board that, like, as a human, you're gonna be tired, tired a lot, and so you can't do it, all you cannot, and sometimes the best decision because I don't know about you.
Speaker 3:I am not particularly rational. My family always had a rule. Like my husband and my kids, they always knew we cannot have hard discussions or difficult discussions late at night because they're just not fruitful.
Speaker 3:You know, they're just not fruitful. And we learned that we were all better if we got a good night's rest and then could approach it as a team in the morning and everything looks a little bit better in the light of day. Which leads me to the Lamentations 3, 22, 23. Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, For his compassions never fail. They are new every morning.
Speaker 3:Great is your faithfulness and that idea of like, and we get to start over in the morning with a good night's rest and a new perspective, and often that can help us regulate ourselves, our emotions, in a way that allows us to hear what God is speaking to us, in a way that allows us to feel God's presence as we approach hard things.
Speaker 2:I love that. I'm a big fan of Lamentations. I recently had, a little bit further in that scripture, lamentations 3.29. I had it on my. I have a chalkboard wall in my office, if anyone's ever visited.
Speaker 2:And I often write prayers or quotes or scripture, that is, feel like God is saying something there and I leave it up for a while to think about it. And for a long time because I was feeling very tired I came. I often turned to Lamentations in my exhaustion and further in Lamentations 3, I think it's like 329, it ends with it says and there may yet still be hope, and for me that was always like a rejuvenating line. It was almost for me. I had it on my chalkboard because it reminded me that, like, even on the days where I may be feeling really tired and maybe not feeling like, hope is something I'm able to bring forward that.
Speaker 2:God still is and in like the expansiveness of time that God does not exist, in that like hope is always moving itself forward regardless of my exhaustion when I am at that moment.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I love that and also, again, I think, really a cry to community right, Because we all have those seasons and that's when God can use the people around you to show you hope, right To be your hope to know that God is still working and moving, and to point out those places when we feel like we can't find them ourselves. Yeah, yeah, so, so, yeah, so, halt, are you hungry, are you angry, are you lonely and are you tired?
Speaker 2:I love that um, so I use someone who is a spiritual director that I talk to um, and often the question she asks is what is the invitation from god?
Speaker 2:right now and says I love these words because it's almost like when you know you mean, you get back to you, got you get back to you, got you get back to just talking about noticing your body which, like you said, we could have a whole other podcast on but really, like, these are physical. Some of them are physical, some of them are emotional, like flags that if you um notice them, it's like, well, maybe what is, maybe your hunger is because God is inviting you to be filled, or maybe your hunger is because God is inviting you to be filled. Or maybe your loneliness is God is inviting you towards somebody else. Or, you know, maybe it's your anger. Is that God is inviting you to figure out? Why do you care so much? You know, or you know your exhaustion?
Speaker 3:is God inviting you to just rest and while HALT is not a fix-all right.
Speaker 2:No, no tool is.
Speaker 1:You don't work this tool and then all of a sudden, your problems are gone.
Speaker 3:No, this is a lifelong process, right, and I do want to end with that. There are seasons where it may not matter how much we feel like we are doing, we cannot do it without help. There are things in our lives that there are times we cannot muscle through.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And so we have got to reach out. We've got to reach out to our community, we've got to reach out to mental health professionals. We need to reach out to our doctors. There are things God has provided, resources through people in our lives and we need to not be afraid to use them.
Speaker 2:Yes, I love all of that. I think that's a great place to end Well. Thank you, heather, for running through HALT with us Absolutely, and for sharing it with us last Sunday. And if anyone is looking to see your whole message, it is on our On Demand page at meethopeorg slash On Demand and on our YouTube. Is there anything else you'd want to?
Speaker 3:share. No, I think the biggest thing is just know that you don't have to walk this alone. You don't, no matter how hard it is, no matter how wonderful it is. You don't have to walk life alone. Yeah, great.
Speaker 2:Awesome. Well, thank you, Heather, and thank you for listening today. If you love this podcast, we encourage you to share it with a friend. You can find all of our podcast episodes at meethopeorg slash podcast or in your favorite podcast app. And so until next time. We will see you then.
Speaker 1:Thanks for being a part of the Hope Community as we continue our conversations about faith and hope. If you don't already, please join us for worship on Sundays or on demand. You can learn more at meethopeorg or find us on socials at Meet Hope Church.