The Meet Hope Podcast
The Meet Hope Podcast
72: "No matter where you are in your life, you can be loved by God and used by God." - My Story with Dr. Nicole Widmer
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Join us this week as we welcome Dr. Nicole Widmer to share her faith journey! Nicole shares how she desired to find a faith community for her family, how she wound up at HOPE, and how she has followed God's nudging her heart to create a community for women to be together, just as they are. Special thank you to Nicole for sharing with us!
NOTES & RESOURCES:
- Want to share your story? Contact us at podcast@meethope.org!
- The Well for women typically gathers the 2nd Wednesday of each month. Find it on our events page! https://meethope.org/events
- Contact Pastor Heather to find a small group at heather@meethope.org
Thanks for being a part of the HOPE community as we continue conversations about faith and hope! You can learn more at meethope.org or find us on socials @meethopechurch. Join in for worship on Sundays at meethope.online.church! Have a question? Contact us at podcast@meethope.org.
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Faith Journey and Community Connection
IntroWelcome to the Meet Hope podcast , where we have conversations about faith and hope . Hope is one church made of people living out their faith through two expressions in person and online . We believe a hybrid faith experience can lead to a growing influence in our community and our world for the sake of others . Welcome to Hope . Our world for the sake of others . Welcome to Hope .
Heather MandalaWelcome to the Meet Hope Podcast . My name is Heather Mandela and I am your host today . Today , I have with me Dr Nicole Widmer , and Nicole is going to be sharing with us along the theme of my faith story . It's been exciting to have lots of different individuals come and tell us about what their relationship with God looks like . And so today , nicole , you are here with us and we are so excited about that . Let's start by letting people get to meet you . Tell us a little bit about yourself .
Nicole WidmerHi , so I'm super happy to be here . I am a mom . My husband , Mike , and I have been coming to Hope for a while . I have two kids Max , who's 10 , and Maya , who is 7 .
Heather MandalaAnd they're so fun , so fun .
Nicole WidmerWe are right now in the depths of sports , so I was just telling Heather a while ago that everything is revolving around baseball and soccer and lacrosse . But I love it . You're coaching , right , yep ? So I'm coaching lacrosse and um soccer for my daughter . Uh , my son is playing baseball and soccer , so we're we're busy , but you know I like being busy but it's good stuff .
Heather MandalaYeah , it's all good stuff .
Nicole WidmerI am a physical therapist , so I work at two different places , one with adults and one with pediatrics . Really , I love working with kids . I think that that's definitely my calling and it's just something that I enjoy so much . So I'm really lucky that I have a job that I enjoy and that I love to go to and also get paid because , yeah , gotta pay the bills too .
Heather MandalaYeah , it's important stuff . That's awesome . That's awesome . So tell me a little bit . How did you begin and why did you begin attending here at Hope ?
Nicole WidmerSo I was in my young 20s and I had grown up with Ricky Court going to his youth group at a previous church .
Heather MandalaYou can always tell who knew Pastor Rick from before because they call him Ricky .
Nicole WidmerSo yes , and I grew up with them I mean , when I remember when all three kids were born and we babysat them , taught them swim lessons so I was really looking for a church that would feel like home . And when I knew that Rick had come here , I knew that if the courts were here , that it would feel like home to me . So it was definitely something that I wanted to try out , because I think that I trust them and I know that they're just such a great family that I would feel comfortable with them in anywhere that they were I love that , I really do , and we are so glad that you did come .
Heather MandalaSo what was it like when you first started attending ?
Nicole WidmerSo when I first started coming first we were going to Sojourn , which was great . Everybody was very friendly and always a smile on their face . What I found later , the more and more we started coming even to our normal Sunday morning worship , is that I really liked getting to know people . I think the authenticity that was here , where people didn't need to be perfect and they really showed you their real lives , it really felt more comfortable for me . It was comfortable for my husband , who really did not grow up in the church , and I really liked that they loved my kids as we got older .
Nicole WidmerAnd that made a big difference because I think , with me growing up in the church , I have a basis , but my kids did not , and that's something that I think was really important for me and my family .
Heather MandalaYeah , and it can be hard . At least I felt from my own experience that it can be challenging . When you've come from a faith background that meant so much to you and maybe your spouse had a different experience , finding a place that works for both of you can be challenging at times and we had the same experience for Kevin and I where we felt like , hey , you know what Hope really brings us both together beautifully and it kind of meets both of our needs , and I know it can be hard to find that , so we're glad that .
Nicole WidmerAnd I think it's important that your faith has to be a personal thing . You can't force somebody to follow the same journey that you did , so what works for one person may not be exactly the path that the next person is supposed to follow , and I think that as a when I was a kid , we grew up Catholic , and when I started going to youth group at the Methodist church with Rick , I started going .
Nicole WidmerMy parents will let me do both , so I would still have to go to the Catholic church , but I would have to . Also I would go to youth . And my mom was fine with it , my dad was fine with it , and then eventually they started coming too , because they wanted to see you know what it was about , why we enjoyed it so much . I mean , what kind of teenager wants like , chooses to ?
Heather Mandalago to church twice yeah .
Nicole WidmerAnd then eventually they started going and it was . It was nice because I think that we started realizing that your faith is more of a personal journey and it doesn't have to just be a set . You know experience .
Heather MandalaYou a set um , you know experience .
Nicole WidmerYou don't have to look . Does it look the same when you have to do X , y and Z ? You know it's going to be whatever's between you and God and what's best for you . So I think that that was really important for us too .
Heather MandalaThat's awesome . I love the way that your journey impacted your parents' journey as well , like that's a really cool thing . Um , and family kind of brings family along a lot of the time , so that's really cool . So was there a moment this is kind of a flashback now where you felt like gosh , I understand what my faith is about . Like I get it now .
Nicole WidmerI think that as a kid or teenager I went to Delanco Camp and you know I had that kind of teenage moment where I understood it , but I think that that looks really different as an adult . So I would say that first aha moment was when I was a teenager and it was the basis for my faith . But then later I realized that it's not the same . So as a kid , sometimes it's easy to just have that blind faith and to say , okay , I believe this , it makes sense to me and this is where I'm going to go , this is what my life wants to be . And as you get older , I started realizing that it's more of a process , my faith , than it is just an aha kind of yes , I believe everything .
Heather MandalaI love that .
Nicole WidmerAnd it was nice to be able to , as an adult , ask questions and to learn from the people around me , which is one way I'm really grateful to hope , because I think that I've seen not only people in the church make it okay to question , but also make it okay to change and grow . So I've seen a lot of that and a lot of people , including the pastors , that they're really looking into different things that are going on in society and really praying thoughtfully about how they feel about it and being willing to say you know what ? God's telling me something different , or God's answering this question differently than he did 10 years ago when I was a teenager . It's different for me now that I'm an adult . So I wouldn't say it was one major moment . I think it's really just been growth and process over a long period of time .
Heather MandalaI love that and the fact that you use the word process . It gives me chills , because that's what we say , right , that we are in the process of being conformed to the image of Christ for the sake of others and we aren't ever going to get there this side of heaven , and we mess up , and , and we mess up and we , we make mistakes , and , um , what matters is what we do with that , and I love that , and , and so I think that's really exciting and I , I , I want that for everybody you know , like I love that that's been your experience .
Heather MandalaUm , I know it's been mine . Um , I know I am not the same person . Thank goodness that I was 10 years ago and so that growth is such a huge component and that's really exciting . How do you find , as an individual , you connect with God , hear God grow in your faith ? What is it for you ?
Nicole WidmerSo I think there's two different things that I really tend to gravitate towards .
Nicole WidmerThe first is small groups .
Nicole WidmerI'm a really strong believer that God is present in community and while I think quiet time and alone time with God is very important , it's hard for me to focus and to figure out on my own what God is trying to say to me , and I think that sometimes , for different people , it's not always you're sitting alone and God gives you a sign or a message .
Nicole WidmerI think sometimes it's the people around you that are speaking to God is speaking through them to you , and that's where I hear it the most . So having a small group was really the best for me , because I think that , through other people's support and hey , let's tease this out , let's work on this , let's figure out why you're feeling this way or what we think God is going to have , and also holding me accountable , I think it's important , we always said , to have these truth teller friends , and I want friends that are supportive of me but also are going to support my growth and to tell me when I'm wrong , or tell me when you know maybe I'm not doing the right thing , or tell me that you know that they think that God's calling me for something different , and I think that that's really important , that God uses other people to influence me more than , say , just sitting by myself .
Heather MandalaAbsolutely , and I think it's so important that confirmation they can provide too , because you know you may be feeling like , hey , I think this is what God's saying . And then you bring it to your small group , you bring it to those trusted people and they can be like , yes , I see that in you or no , you're crazy , and either is appreciated right , Like you know I get it , I , I , I really value my call me on my crap friends .
Heather MandalaYou know like I need you to call me on my stuff . I want to grow and that's huge and I'm glad you have that and have found that .
Nicole WidmerI think , too , the second way that really , god , I've become closer to God is through worship and singing . I find it really hard for myself , it's a challenge for me , to find the words to pray , and I always feel like I have this feeling . I know what I want to express and I just have such a hard time expressing that and I find so often that when I'm listening to music or when I'm in worship , during service or if I'm singing , that it's an easy way to just put these words to things that I'm feeling and to use that as my prayer . So I think that that's another way that I really feel like I have more of a connection , so that's something that keeps me more grounded .
Heather MandalaI love that , and music is one of the ways that my heart feels God as well , and one of the songs we sing is the chorus is when we sing , heaven comes close and I love that . It's not a scriptural , theological thought , but for me that's what happens when we are engrossed in music , when we are worshiping . That way , for me , I feel God's presence and God comes close .
Nicole WidmerYeah , absolutely yeah , so .
Heather MandalaI relate to that and I agree and love that as well . It's also how I memorize scripture . I'm not going to lie , I am really bad at the straight up . Let's memorize things . But ask me something and I'll sing it to you . You know , like I learned a song with that in it once you know . Yeah , so I feel that .
Exploring Faith and Leadership Development
Heather MandalaSo you had talked a lot about growth through from being a child through adulthood , and I know you've talked about it before , but one of your big influences growing up was camp Yep . Tell me a little bit about your experiences at Delenco , right .
Nicole WidmerYeah , yeah . So I think that as a kid , it was nice to be able to go somewhere . That was a place that was going to enrich me , to make me feel closer to God , and even to this day , whenever I go there , it's just kind of my special place . I just feel like there's a presence there that calms me and it's kind of like a recharge . So I think that it's nice to have something that you can go and feel comfortable exploring your faith while also feeling like-minded people around you .
Nicole WidmerSo as a kid , it's so easy to be embarrassed and even though we shouldn't be embarrassed by our faith , I mean , look , we're , we're , they're teenagers . We're going to be embarrassed by everything that is under the sun . I mean , my son gets embarrassed when I tell him that I love him . So , um , I think that it's something that you can feel comfortable and ask questions and be with each other . And there's friends that I made there that I still talk to my one of my very good friends , Carrie . She did my hair for my wedding . I mean it's just . I just think it's a special place to be able to learn so much more and to see people that are like you , and it's just a stepping stone . That's something that I needed in my faith , to understand that my faith was more personal and I needed that stepping stone to then move on to other things .
Heather MandalaA launching point , really right Like you were able to gather the courage and the knowledge to take that next step and to go the next mile . Tell me a little bit about your process . So we touched on it a little bit , but your process of when you feel God nudging you , when you feel like I'm supposed to be doing something or not doing something what does that look like for you ?
Nicole WidmerSo I think it's hard for me , because there's a lot of times where I feel like there's nudgings that I get from God that don't necessarily go along with what I feel like a typical woman would be nudged .
Nicole WidmerAnd and I feel like there's this kind of part of me where I'm super family oriented I love being home , I like to do things with my family , I like to cook meals , I like to , you know , provide a nice house for , for my kids , but I also like to work . I like my job . Um , I am more of like a leader , and I struggled with that because it was hard for me to figure out where that kind of leader aspect of me was going to be fulfilled in a godly way .
Nicole WidmerYou know it's easy to do it at work and that kind of stuff , but I just felt like there was more pushing to something else . So , and I always struggled with that thought process of like a woman being submissive and quiet and you know , that's the biblical Proverbs 31 woman , which really I don't think is true at all .
Heather MandalaYeah , um . But that woman was up at the crack of dawn , she had that family whipped into shape and then she was out to work . Telling things like that was a strong woman .
Nicole WidmerYeah , and I'm not necessarily the like obedient type . I mean I , you know , my mom will tell you that if she told me something , I went exactly the opposite . But if somebody else told me the same thing , it was fine . It was just when my mom said it .
Heather MandalaYes , and we're experiencing that now with our own children , aren't we ? Yes .
Nicole WidmerSo I think that that really was . It was kind of trying to maybe also figure out what was maybe a little bit of ego , a little bit of feeling like , you know , I wanted to be in charge or or or leading , but then also realizing like it's really not me , it's God that is doing this . So I need to make sure that I'm putting myself aside and doing what God really wants me to do .
Heather MandalaThat's awesome and that's one of those times that you bring community around you , right , and you've got some awesome people around you who support you and cheer you on and speak truth into that , and that is a really , really cool thing . And knowing that you are in the process , you know , right , we're learning what it means to do this and how it looks and , and it changes constantly . Yeah , yeah , it changes constantly and that is one of the things that I don't know if you found , but I do find it . Hope is that hope lets you change ?
Nicole WidmerYeah , right , like it allows you to say hey , I really feel like God's calling me over here , yeah , and to question , to question things and say , you know , I don't know how I feel about this or what should I do in this case , and and also to challenge and to say , hey , if you think that we need this , you know , maybe you should do it , which really , though , is part of the process of God telling you what to do . Sometimes you need other people to say like hey , you know , maybe you need to do this .
Heather MandalaYeah , you're right , there's this . God is calling for this ministry and you can do it , and that's . That is a terrifying thing , and you know , but it's so valued and so needed and it provides opportunities for new people to develop their own leadership chops , right . It allows people to come beside you and say , hey , I want to help you with this . And and so tell us a little bit about the small group you're currently working with . It's a it's an experience on Wednesday once a month , on Wednesdays group you're currently working with .
Nicole WidmerIt's a . It's an experience on Wednesday , once a month on Wednesdays . Yep , so right now , um , I am working with a group called the well , um , we usually have , so it's once a once a month on Wednesdays , like you said , and we're really focusing on it being an experience for women of all different ages . Experience , um , you know , experience background , married , not married . Um , you know , I loved MOPs when we were involved in that , but it was kind of pigeonholed .
Nicole WidmerYou know , mothers are preschoolers which again was a wonderful , wonderful program and we needed
Embracing Imperfection and Finding Community
Nicole Widmerit . But then I felt , as my kids were getting older , well , what ? Now ? I think it was . I felt like there was kind of a disconnect in this age group of either if women didn't have children or if they were out of that school age , children age , or maybe they weren't married or maybe they were divorced , or maybe they were just trying to figure things out . And I just felt God really pulling me to try to make people feel more welcome in the church and understand that it's not all about being perfect and having to put yourself into one category .
Nicole WidmerYou can be in a lot of different categories and feel comfortable with that and that's okay . Yeah , it's messy , and I think that as women , we judge ourselves probably way more harsher than we even judge other people , and it's easy to say like , well , you know , I'm a stay at home mom , I shouldn't want more , I should be happy with my family , or I have a job , I shouldn't want more . But there's always that kind of piece that's missing and it's okay to want more or to feel like you need something else or you need community or you need , you know , somebody guiding you , and I think that just to feel like feeling like a mess sometimes is okay .
Heather MandalaYes .
Nicole WidmerAnd that's one of the things with the well that I start off . I mean , the people that go can probably tell . I start off almost every single meeting saying like look , I forgot my shoes today . I don't know what it was , but I'm a mess . I'm a mess . I'm a complete mess . I'm anxious . I don't know what's happening . I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off , but I'm here and I love it and I love God , and guess , what God loves me , exactly the way that I am .
Heather MandalaYep .
Nicole WidmerAnd I can be messy and I can be , you know , I can be great , and that's okay . And I think that I wanted it to be a place where women understood that God wasn't calling us to be submissive or obedient to men . He was calling us to be submissive and obedient to him which looks different .
Heather MandalaBeautiful building up of each other . Yeah .
Nicole WidmerAnd I think that in what I'm looking for is at the well we talk about that women can have different jobs and do different things and look at different ways . And I look in the Bible and I always thought like , where am I represented here ? You know we see Peter , john , the disciples , jesus , and they're men , and I wanted to know , like , where is my representation as a woman and where ?
Introwould .
Nicole WidmerI fit in and then what I was ? I was talking to you , heather , when I came to the idea and we thought about the woman in the well and she was a mess . You know , she was judged by her peers and the reason why she was at the well was because she wasn't there during the normal time , because she was getting judged by people . And Jesus came and he loved her no matter what , and he saw all the things .
Heather MandalaHe knew all the things . He told her , everything she'd ever done .
Nicole WidmerHe knew it all but he still loved her . And not only did he love her , but he used her to then tell other people about . Jesus . So you don't have to be that typical disciple-looking person or pastor to be able to tell people about Jesus or to show people the love of Jesus . There's women like Deborah , who was a warrior , there's Esther , who was a queen , there was Ruth , who was a daughter-in-law and just loved her mother-in-law .
Nicole WidmerSo I think that there and then there's a woman like Mary who just was a mother and just said look , I don't even know what's happening right now , but I'm all for it .
Heather MandalaLike I'm all in .
Nicole WidmerAnd that bravery and obedience to God is what I wanted women at the well to see and to feel comfortable with , and to know that , no matter where you are in your life , you can be loved by God and used by God .
Heather MandalaI love that , I love that and I love that . That is the vision for that group and it gives permission to be who you are , where you are , and reminds us that God has created us uniquely . You are where you are and reminds us that God has created us uniquely and that is okay . You know , and that not every woman looks the same , not every woman acts the same , not every woman likes the same things , and that is okay .
Nicole WidmerAnd a little more grace for ourselves too . I think for most people it's easy to extend grace to other people . You know somebody's saying that they feel terrible or they don't like their hair , or they don't like that they did this , and it's easy for you to say look , god loves you no matter what . But do we tell ourselves that , like the things that I say to other people , and I truly mean it when I say it to somebody else ? But can I say that to myself ? Because if God extends it to you , he's extending it to me too . So I wanted the well to be a place where people came to feel refreshed , to feel the movement of God and to just know that they're loved and beautiful and amazing . And again , a lot of times it's because I needed to tell myself that . So I always feel like if I need to hear it , somebody else needs to hear it too .
Heather MandalaI think you'll hear that from a lot of us . We all say that like , hey , this is just what God's telling me right now , so I'm sharing it , but it's really what he's trying .
Nicole WidmerIt's really what he's teaching me . And you know , we've been so lucky because the women that have been going to the well are just amazing . I mean , I really and again it's my own anxieties and all of this but I was so nervous that I didn't want people that were going to . And I give a caveat when we first begin to say like , look , this is a judgment-free zone . What happens here stays here . We don't judge each other .
Nicole WidmerWe don't tell other people what's happening . We're comfort . This is for each other and these women have just embraced that and they are so kind to each other and themselves and they're so open-minded and it's just really been such an encouragement and so amazing to see this group of women come together and just be what I can . This is what God envisioned for us . This is his community and I just think it's amazing . It really is .
Heather MandalaIt really is , and I'm so grateful that you listened to those nudges and that you followed his call . Good on you , nicole . So thank you . Thank you for sharing about your faith , your story , thank you for opening up spaces for other women to experience the same thing , because that is a gift .
Nicole WidmerAnd thank you for Hope , for letting me again be my crazy self and come . I've been lucky enough that I come with a thousand different ideas and then you guys kind of rein it in because I definitely need a little reining in and it just ends up being great . So I think , as a cooperation , you know , it comes out really good , yeah , well , thank you , and thank you for sharing today .
Heather MandalaAs we wrap up , I want to do some quick , rapid fire fun stuff at the end . So , in you know , three words or less . We're going to answer these questions . You ready , here we go . What is your favorite pizza topping ? Oh , just cheese , like extra cheese , excellent . Are you a morning person or a night person ?
Nicole WidmerProbably more night . I've been sleeping in lately , trying to at least with kids .
Heather MandalaYeah , not easy , not easy . What is your coffee order ?
Nicole WidmerOh , um , I like Duncan . Right now there's the churro .
Nicole WidmerOh , my daughter loves that , just that black churro no cream , no sugar , nope no , my daughter loves that . That's her favorite too . Same way , uh , what is a favorite show or movie you've watched recently ? Oh my gosh , I'm really big on like Netflix stocks and I know I'm going to admit this and you guys are going to judge me , I'm as crazy . Bravo reality . I don't care . It's the time that I have to be like brain numb and I don't care , I'm into it , I like it .
Heather MandalaI talked on Sunday about watching zombies , so you know like it's fine , no judgment .
Sharing Hobbies and Local Eats
Heather MandalaWhat's your favorite hobby ?
Nicole WidmerReading right now . I've been reading a lot .
Heather MandalaExcellent and your favorite local place to eat .
Nicole WidmerOoh , oh , my gosh , that's really hard , I don't know . I like a bunch of places in Collingswood . Oh , you know what ? Lee Beirut is a Lebanese place in Collingswood Excellent BYO , and they give you like all the things and appetizers . It's amazing , it was so good . I definitely recommend it to everybody .
Heather MandalaAwesome , excellent , well , thank you . Thank you so much for coming in , for sharing with us and for our listeners out there . We really hope that you will take that next step and find your safe place to explore who God is in your life . For more information on how you can do that , you can check out meethopeorg slash today .
IntroThanks for being a part of the Hope Community as we continue our conversations about faith and hope . If you don't already , please join us for worship on Sundays or on demand . You can learn more at meethopeorg or find us on socials at Meet Hope Church .